Is it because I queefed?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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