We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
