I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
