I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
