im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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