shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
