Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
