i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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