can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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