Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
birth control should be required to get into college
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
