yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
