when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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