it was like his penis was on wheels.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
