czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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