it hurts more in the daytime
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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