I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
