There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Couch. On fire.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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