Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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