Cold hands, warm shart.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Alive.
So much puke
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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