Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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