walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize