What did we do last night that was yellow?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
