Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
