i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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