Do vagina's smell?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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