Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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