My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
