I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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