I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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