lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize