why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize