I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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