Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
