jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
