Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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