In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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