Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
