I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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