Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
