That's when you crack a 10am beer
4 words: hood of his car
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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