so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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