Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
