Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think my vagina is haunted
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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