isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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