He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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