I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
