Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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