I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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