i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
