Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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