shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
