What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
