DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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