So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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