You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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