I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
