What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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