i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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