Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
