just tell him i said nine months
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
