Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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