making cat noises will not fix the situation.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
