RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
