3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize