Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
