Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize