You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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