Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize