I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
