He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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