guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
