hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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