After last night, I could never be a politician.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
