I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
