The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
