I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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